Refocused and Ready

First of all, I want to appologize for my absence. I have had a couple of monumental things happen lately that were very unexpected. My dad's health is failing so I've had no choice but to be in the middle of some important decisions about the future. I am your typical, southern, daddy's girl so suffice it to say, I am crushed by this. So without devulging too much about my dad situation, I am struggling to get through each day without tears and remembering each day is a gift and a treasure never to be taken for granted. In the midst of that huge undertaking I wrecked my car, my beloved Cameron.
She was a treasure to me for five years and took me and my new family everywhere we wanted to go and got us there in style. For those of you that are not or have never been emotionally attached to a vehicle, please excuse and indulge me for a moment. We got Cameron during my first trimester with Gavin. She safely took me to Lovell Road every day for the next few months. We also chose that vehicle to bring Gavin home from the hospital after his birth. It has endured my messiness as well as Gavin's toddlerness. She was there through each new job, got me back and forth to the hospital when dad had a stroke, and has served as my office, prayer closet, and quiet place. I said good bye to her today. Yes, I talked to a car; I pretty much had a memorial service with her and let her know how much I appreciated her and how much I'll miss her. Crazy as that may sound, it helped me.
I asked dad a few days ago if I should still go through with this pageant deal with everything that's surrounding us right now. I feel selfish to be doing this and my hope is that I'm never, ever found to be disrespectful in any situation. I believe that keeps me from doing alot of new things unfortunately. Luckily, he said that not only should I do it, but go win it all. I can only agree. Now, with less than six weeks left until the pageant I have no choice but to get my act together. Now, I'm not only doing this to show myself that I can accomplish a goal, but hopefully make my dad proud.